Searching for a Purpose

As some of you have noticed, we have not blogged the past few weeks. This isn't because we have given up on our blog and our vision, but just that we are refocusing our purpose. It has become unclear to us whether our words are really just therapy for ourselves, or if they are making a difference. Bear with us as we do some searching and seeking God's will for our lives and for our blog. If you feel comfortable, we would cherish your prayers in this matter.

The Perfect Pursuer

I realized something about myself this week. After 26 years of marriage to the same man, I still like to be pursued. Now before you raise your eyebrows I must clarify that the only man I like to pursue me is my husband! Let me explain. I am blessed with a wonderful man who is very kind to me and I to him as well, but when you have been married for as long as we have you become comfortable. Neither of us feel the need to pursue the other because we have already been caught. So a few days ago when my husband surprised me with an email that simply said FYI but had an attachment that was a reservation for an overnight get away in honor of Valentine’s day, I caught myself feeling quite special! You see I did not ask for or require a night away to know he loves me but opening up that little surprise made my heart skip a beat and realize that as secure as I am in my marriage I still like for him to pursue me a little!

In talking to other women I find this desire is common among most of us. We like to be pursued and romanced by a future or current mate. This feeling does not just apply to relationships. It can apply to our careers as well, it is thrilling to get that phone call or email from a company pursuing you to come work for them because they see your value in the workplace. Bottom line is we like to be pursued because it makes us feel wanted and needed.

Did you know God pursues you? Sometimes it is man’s rules that make it hard saying that you have to do or be a certain way before you can approach God; that you have to chase after him. That is not true. He approaches you everyday wanting relationship with you, wanting to give you all your heart’s desire, loving you as his daughter, wanting you to enjoy life and have fun! Wanting to protect you giving you strength to handle whatever may come your way and giving you victory as well. All you have to do is accept Him. It is free.

Lisa and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Every year I cut out the coupons for the various online flower sites and “subtly” leave them in places that my husband frequents. He, however, has yet to catch on to my clues. This year I tried a new “tactic”. I have saved every card that my husband has ever given me. They are all in a plastic shoebox that I keep in my closet. A few days ago I took down the box and started rummaging through the cards, smiling at some, and giggling at others. Although there are no dates on these cards, it’s easy to assume when in our relationship they were given. I quickly found the five Valentine’s Day cards that I had received early in our dating relationship. That was the year that my husband (then boyfriend) surprised me with a week of Valentine’s surprises! I still remember walking out of my apartment on the “First Day of Valentine’s” to find a single card attached to a CD. I fondly remember my heart fluttering the entire way to the car, anxiously wondering what was on the CD. Then, as the years went on, the cards started saying, “Sorry I’m too cheap to buy inflated Valentine’s Day flowers,” or “Sorry I’m not that romantic. I love you.”

You have to understand, my husband is a very practical man, and the thought of spending more on something than it’s worth just doesn’t fly with him. And because I know this about him, it doesn’t bother me. But, there is something wonderful and fun about being pursued. And, when we were first “falling in love” he totally knew how to pursue me. And, not a day goes by that I don’t know without a shadow of a doubt that he still loves me.

So, imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang unexpectedly on Friday afternoon. There, sitting on the front porch was the long skinny box that can only mean one thing. ROSES! These didn't show up on my doorstep out of guilt, but out of love, from a husband who still knows how to pursue me.

It’s amazing to me that no matter who we are, what we are, or where we’ve been, God pursues us with passion. He loves us so much that He is constantly seeking us out. He wants us to love Him that He finds us, wherever we are. There is a song right now that speaks to this very love that God has for all of us. JJ Heller sings a song called “What Love Really Means”. It is one of my favorite songs right now, but at the end, God is talking and He says:

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew

You see, He can love us like no person can ever love. His love is perfect and pure and everlasting, and He loves you so much that He will never stop pursuing you.

Overcoming Our Fears

You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. ~ Psalm 18:28-30 (NIV)

This week a series of events happened that as a result I found myself feeling fear in a way that I have not felt in quite a while. It reared its head around every corner and consumed me to the degree that my sleep was restless and my stomach held a continual knot. As I was expressing my concerns to God, I opened my bible and Psalm 18 glared out at me like neon lights on a very dark night. This passage holds the words that David sang after God delivered him from Saul and his troops of men who were hunting him down wanting him dead. From other passages it is made clear that this same David who fought and killed Goliath as a youth was now as an adult dealing with fear for his life. He cried out to God and God rescued him. While running for his life from Saul God was with David the entire time protecting him and giving him the strength he needed to overcome the fear and win the battle. In verses 28-30 David not only acknowledges that his personal strength came entirely from God but he acknowledges Gods perfect ways and greatness as well, giving him all the glory. God turned his darkness to light. He gave him strength to scale walls! Verse 30 says, He is a shield for ALL who take refuge in him. Note he did not say for I he said for all. The awesome thing about God is that there are no prerequisites, he does not discriminate, he is there at all times for all people to take refuge in him and he will be our shield every time.

As I took refuge in God the intense fear that I was feeling began to leave. Have the events that brought this fear on been resolved? No. In Gods time they will be. Like always all I had to do was place my trust in Him and he took the fear and replaced it with peace. He will do it again and again, for me and for you.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. ~ Psalm 9:9 – 10 (NIV)

Fear. It’s a stronghold that I battle with more than I’d like to admit. My imagination has an ugly way of running away with my thoughts, and before I know it, fear has its foot in my heart. Often times I don’t even realize that I’m afraid of something until I feel its paralyzing effects.

If I’m not careful, I could spend my life in constant fear. All we have to do is turn on the news to see that this world is full of things to dread. Whether its something far away or close to home; fear and worry are real.

But I have hope, peace, and comfort. This Psalm that King David wrote thousands of years ago continues to bring solace to me today. Regardless of what is happening around me, these words of promise and hope can come to my mind and remind me that I am not alone.

The key words that stick out to me are refuge – protection, security; oppressed – abused, crushed; stronghold – fort, castle; trouble – trial, suffering; trust – believe, hope; forsaken – desert, leave; and seek – look for, try to find.

We can’t change the fact that life can be scary. What we can control, however, is how we respond. We can live in fear and never really live. Or, we can find comfort in the fact that our Lord will never leave us. He will always be our fortress and will protect us. All we have to do is look for Him.

Resolution Solution

So here we are. It is the last day of the first month of another new year. Every commercial, internet, newspaper and magazine article is evolved around how to achieve those resolutions we made for ourselves. Making resolutions, everyone I know has a love/hate relationship with them.

Recently I read an interesting fact that every year millions of people make resolutions for the new year but only ten percent manage to actually achieve them and by July most of them have been forgotten and no progress has been made. Ten percent! I wish I could say that every year since I started making resolutions that I made the ‘ten percent’ category but I cannot.

Why do we bother with making resolutions? I can only answer for myself. I feel like there is always something new to learn, a better way of doing things in my life that will result in personal growth emotionally, physically and most importantly spiritually which will result in becoming a more productive person. When I do this I see so much more positive in my life. I find myself accomplishing things that make a difference.

How do I achieve this? I have learned over the years (learning is one of the positive things of aging!) to be realistic in the goals I set for myself. If I set unrealistic goals, I will fail and then just take the path of least resistance which is to convince myself that it does not matter. So the key is to be realistic. Of course challenge must be involved that is what makes it so exciting, however be realistic in what is even attainable for where I am at in life. What was unrealistic for me to accomplish as a 30 year old mother of two toddlers and a new born is now much more realistic as a 50 year old mother of grown children. I have also learned that the list does not have to be long. I have found that changing or improving upon one thing in my life can be the stepping stone that leads to other positive changes that will come naturally because of that one act.

So to whoever is reading this today and possibly struggling with resolutions or change of daily habit that will bring more excellence in your life, ask God for direction and believe what you ask for. He is your creator who loves you and is just waiting to meet the desire of your heart. That is faith.

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve tried, but I tend to fall in with the 90% who fail. And, it’s usually by January 2^nd that I’ve failed at my resolution and decide to pitch it and just claim failure. I’m okay without New Year’s Resolutions.

I do set goals. Maybe it’s because they come without the negative stigma of a New Year’s Resolution, but I tend to do better with a goal. It’s a mind game, but I like that I can set a goal any time of the year. Plus, I feel like if I drop the ball on Tuesday, I can just pick it up again on Wednesday!

My goal this year is to have some routines. I have heard that it takes 21 days to make something part of your routine. That’s 3 weeks. The sad thing is that it only takes 3 days of not doing this activity to get out of the routine…

Early last year my goal was to read my Bible consistently, every single day. Our church was kicking off a program where we would read 3 chapters a day, and my husband and I were going to be leading a discussion group starting in the summer. I liked this goal for several reasons:

1. It was realistic and attainable. I knew that I could sit down for 20 – 30 minutes every day. I would love to sit for hours and read and study my Bible, but that was not my reality, and it would have been very difficult.

2. I was being held accountable. My husband had committed to the same reading program, so I knew that he would be checking up on me, and vice-versa. Plus, it was fun to have conversations about what we were reading.

3. I had a purpose. I knew that in a few months, my husband and I would be leading a group and expecting the attendees to have read their Bibles. It would not look good if one of the leaders was not practicing what she preached.

So, there it is. I will be working on my daily routines, one at a time, by setting my goals according to these three guidelines. These may or may not work for you, but I’m working my best to make them work for me.

And remember; don’t get discouraged if you miss a day. LIFE HAPPENS!!! Forget about Thursday and recommit yourself on Friday!

Life Strikes...

Happy New Year! We trust your Christmas and New Year celebrations were full of joy, peace, reflection, laughter and that new memories were made. Both of us had wonderful celebrations with our families.

When we last blogged we committed to you the reader and ourselves that we would resume writing today. Wouldn’t you know that in the last week life hit both of us in very normal but nonetheless a little overwhelming ways which left both of us feeling ever so exhausted and our brains a little on overload. So, for this week we are blogging about ‘nothing’, however, do not give up on us! All is coming back to normal whatever ‘normal’ means, and we will be back in business next Monday with whatever topic is in the forefront of our minds.

For today we leave you with this one thought, that as women we all know but do not always remember…Do not give up on those resolutions you made for 2011. If you blow one or all of them today it is not the end of the world, tomorrow is a new day and you can start again!

See you next week!

Donna and Lisa

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Recently I was asked to share my favorite Christmas memory. That is a hard question for me because I have so many fond memories to choose from! I have so many fond memories in the big filing cabinet in my head labeled “Christmas” that if I label one as my favorite I fear it will diminish the special meaning of the others. With each year new memories are made that expand the files in that section of my brain and my heart.

Today I am choosing one special memory from my childhood. I believe it would have been my tenth Christmas. I did not grow up in a wealthy family but I never thought of us as poor in that we always had food, shelter, clothing and educational opportunities. This particular Christmas, even though young, I knew money was tight and that my parents made sacrifices to give the very best gifts to their children. Growing up my parents had the tradition with us children of opening presents on Christmas Eve. This particular Christmas Eve after eating way too much and opening presents, my brother, cousin and myself all decided to sleep by the tree. In the middle of the night, which technically would have made it Christmas morning, my dad came in and woke all of us kids up telling us we had to look out the window. Thinking maybe we were going to see Santa on his sleigh being led by Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (my favorite childhood Christmas movie), I jumped up with excitement as to what my eyes would behold. Instead what I saw was something so awe inspiring that in many ways it changed my heart forever. There was the brightest star I had ever seen and quite frankly have not seen one like it since. It literally lit up the sky. My dad told us we would only see this star on this night and it was the same star that was shown to lead the wisemen to the stable where in a manger lay a baby. A baby born of a virgin birth who came to grow to be a man who would make the ultimate sacrifice for all of us and that included me. I had already made a commitment by that age to a lifelong relationship with Christ but there was something about that star that stuck with me and every Christmas since that memory has come back to me. You see that night looking at that star Christmas took on an entirely different meaning for me. While everyone else went back to their slumber I laid awake reflecting upon what my young heart knew of Christ’s birth and I hungered to know more. At that point I knew that I never wanted to turn my back on what God had in store for my life. I am quite sure there are scientists out there that would tell me that was not “the Star of Bethlehem”. There is also the chance that my dad, trying to make Christmas a little extra special for us children that year, just happened to see a bright star and “use it as a teaching moment”. Who knows? Whatever it was I am eternally grateful that my dad chose to wake us up and tell us it was the “Star of Bethlehem” giving us the reminder of what Christmas is all about. I am even more eternally grateful that my heavenly Father chose to send his only son to come to earth to make that ultimate sacrifice for me, for you and for all mankind. What a perfect gift.

I pray a wonderful and fun Christmas for anyone who maybe reading this. That this year through all the busyness that you will see that “Star” and be reminded of everything you have been given.

With Christmas being my all-time favorite holiday, I have so many wonderful memories, but there is definitely one magical Christmas that I will remember always.

I was about 5 or 6 years old, and was beside myself with Santa Claus that year. I was so excited, in fact, that I couldn’t sleep. I ended spending most of the night in my parents bed, popping up every 30 – 40 minutes claiming that I could hear “that little fat man” and his reindeer on the roof. If I couldn’t hear Santa, then I was asking my parents when he was coming. I just couldn’t wait to see what he had left under the tree for me, and wasn’t about to let him sneak without a little peek!

Around 6:00 Christmas morning I heard them. Loud and clear I heard jingle bells and a very muffled “Ho, ho, ho!” I jumped out of that bed faster than any kid and went running down the stairs.

Right in front of my very eyes was a giant red Santa suit with a sneaky Santa Claus creeping around our Christmas tree. I watched in awe just until my mom had woken up my sister and showed her our special visitor. Then he turned around, gave a quick wave, and ran out of the garage door.

A few minutes later my aunt and uncle came in and I was quick to give them every single detail of Santa’s visit to my house.

Having experienced this very special and magical event, I believed in Santa Claus until I was almost 12. My friends had long since given up on the big guy, but I had seen him, in my house. And I knew he was real.

This year my three-year-old daughter is super excited about Santa. She wants him to see her room! And she’s positive that he will love our Christmas tree. I cannot wait to watch her on Christmas morning and see the same magic that Christmas morning brings. We are definitely focusing on the true meaning of the Christmas season, but Santa just adds an enchanting element on Christmas morning.

That Christmas will always be special to me. And I am forever thankful to my sweet uncle who helped make that morning absolutely amazing! I still toss and turn on Christmas Eve. My husband tells me I’m like a little girl that night. I can’t help it. It’s my favorite!

We want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and also a Happy New Year. We have decided to take a little break to enjoy our families and to really focus on this special time of year. We will begin posting again on January 24^th, 2011. Have yourselves a merry little Christmas!

Reaching Out

If you have been following our blog for the last three weeks you know that Lisa and I have written on various aspects of the Thanksgiving/Christmas Season. Each week we have tackled the topic of our own personal stress, emotions or physical toll of the holidays and have ended our post with the idea that we cannot lose sight of what this celebration is really about. As I am writing this there is a song playing on the radio titled The Best Gift of All. The message of the song is that the best gift of all is Jesus, not just for Christmas but through the year. Call me emotional but I have tears in my eyes when I hear that. The tears are twofold. They are tears of thankfulness that God loves us so much that through a young virgin girl centuries ago he gave us the miracle of Jesus who made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us. It is the one true thing in life that is free, all that is required is to trust and believe. I have experienced evidence over and over in my lifetime of the result of finding my faith, trust and hope in him. My tears also fall for those who have chosen to reject the gift so graciously given to us by our creator. They enjoy the time off work, parties and gift giving but do not truly understand or believe in the very thing they are celebrating.

What a perfect time for me to show people Jesus, the one whose birth we are celebrating. Does that mean I wear a sandwich board, stand on the street corner and condemn to hell those who do not believe? Absolutely not! It means I show them Jesus through my actions and attitudes, through kindness, grace and giving. It means that instead of condemning I show Gods grace and love simply by loving unconditionally and praying daily for them. Do I do this just at Christmas time? No it is how my life should be conducted at all times through the year. Have I attained perfection in doing this? Well I would like to answer a yes to that question but I admit I have blown it at times, but what is so awesome about having a relationship with God is that he forgives and understands when we get so caught up in ourselves that we temporarily forget. That my friend is grace.

So along with all the fun celebrations, the laughter and joy of Christmas morning I must keep in the forefront of my mind that this is really about the most wonderful gift that is available to all people, no matter your race, whether you are male, female, young or old. That through rough economies, change of life and some of the boulders in the road that God, his son Jesus and the Holy Spirit are always there to bring me peace and give me the tools to keep moving forward in this journey we call life. My desire is that during this season and throughout the whole year those who I come in contact with will be able to see evidence through my actions of what a relationship with God truly is. That it is good. It is safe. It is free. That it brings joy and peace like no other. That you can get through anything when your dependency is on him.

I pray joy and peace to each of you during this most wonderful time of the year!

As I glance at my calendar, I can tell already that this week is full and will be busy. Isn’t that just the way the holidays are? We allow ourselves to pack our days, nights, and weekends full of festive activities. For the most part I love it! I really enjoy spending time with my friends and my family, but it can be overwhelming too.

I have several goals this Christmas. One, as I’ve mentioned before, is to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, and make sure that my three year-old understands as best as she can that we are celebrating Jesus’ birthday. Another goal that I would like to achieve this year is to remember those outside my “circle”. I don’t know about you, but I have neighbors that I barely know. Granted, we just moved into our neighborhood, and just yesterday another family moved into a house on our street, but what a great opportunity to reach outside my safe group of friends, and allow myself to reach out to those around me. I know that all too often I turn inward during December because there is so much to be done for me and for my family. But, who am I missing on the outside? Who is hurting around me? I’m not saying that I’ll be inviting each neighbor over, one by one, for dinner. What I will do is make up a plate of cookies and deliver them with my family, making sure that we spend more than a “hi” and “goodbye” with our new community.

Yes, this is the “most wonderful time of the year”, but it’s arguably the busiest time as well. When we get busy, relationships around us can suffer. So, this year, I’m determined to look outward and be Christ-like, not only to my loved ones, but to those around me. Maybe a few new friendships will develop over a plate of tasty Christmas treats!