Prioritize Your Life

My priorities have changed. Let me preface all this by saying that from a spiritual and emotional perspective they have not. God, my husband of 26 years and our three sons; this group will ALWAYS have priority in my heart. My time is devoted to my relationship with them.

The priorities that have changed are those in my everyday routine. For the last twenty two years my day to day priorities were quite demanding of my time physically and emotionally. I had to be organized to stay on top of everything. Going none stop until dark taking care of my family, our home, volunteering for our church and finding those few minutes just to have some alone time with God. As the boys got older I added more to the list. PTA Mom. Classroom volunteer. School Book Fair coordinator. Team mom for whatever sport they were playing at the time. The list went on.

One day I woke up and all my children had entered manhood with the ability to take care of themselves and make their own decisions. When that happened I do not know. They and all their activities were such a large part of my day to day priorities. That has now come to an end. I told myself that they no longer need me. I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Then I received an email from a long time friend who lives out of state from me. Her husband who had been ill for quite a while had passed away. I cried. I waited a few days and then called her to pass on my condolences and hopefully be an encouragement to her during this time of grief and loss. I did not share any of what I was feeling at the time regarding my own life because that would have been completely selfish and it was not the purpose of the phone call. She shared with me her husband’s final days and it was an amazing story of God’s grace. They had been married thirty seven years and had a beautiful marriage. His death was not what either one of them wanted, however, because of the strength that only God could give they faced it and were together until his last breath. Through her grief she is able to say that even though selfishly she still wants him here that unselfishly she is happy for him that he is home and no longer suffering. Then she said something that caught me completely off guard. “Take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with your husband and your sons. Make your family time a priority keeping God always in the center. God promises us so many things but he does not promise us tomorrow.” Wow. I know it is not coincidence that Lisa and I had decided to write about priorities long before this conversation took place. Given that fact and everything that was going on in my heart that one simple statement that l know but may not always practice spoke profoundly.

My day to day priorities have changed. Life has dictated that and I am choosing to embrace it. The result is good. It means that my alone time with God goes much longer and deeper. This is what gives me my strength and hope for what tomorrow holds. More alone time is now spent with my husband and I am grateful for the work we put into our marriage while raising our children so that we do not have the awkwardness that some empty nesters face. We have fun together! My day to day priorities no longer include that of being the primary care giver of my children. They now need me in a much different way. I am learning with each day what my role and priorities are as a parent to adult children. In addition to my love, they need my prayers, my example of what it means to have faith. They just need me to listen. I have to trust the parenting that my husband and I gave them when they were children. I have to trust God to hear my prayers for them.

Priorities. They are different for all of us depending on where we are at in life. I leave this with you. I have learned the following. Use your God given talents with excellence in the opportunities that come your way, however in the process of doing so do not let that activity become priority over your relationship with God, your family and the friendships that you have been given.

Have no regrets when tomorrow becomes today.

Looking back ten years ago, I was in a very different place, and my priorities were not even close to what they are now. I was 21. I was living in Minneapolis student teaching. I was a senior in college. I was single. I was still under my parent’s insurance. My biggest worry was whether or not my car would die on the interstate on-ramp. I was only in charge of me, and had as much “me” time as I wanted. Sure, there were deadlines, and I know I was worried about who I would marry (or if I would marry). My priority, selfishly, was me.

Ah, the good old days! Today does not look even remotely close to that. With a husband, two little girls, and a mortgage, there is very little “me” time. But, happily, I have embraced my new life! I’m sure we’re all familiar with the acronym floating around the church regarding our priorities: JOY (Jesus, Others, You). This is exhausting! By the time I get to me, I’m too tired to do anything more.

I’m not going to lie. My priorities have not been my priority. Survival has been at the top of my list! My second baby girl threw my life into a whirlwind, and I am finally feeling a sense of “normalcy” once again. But, for the last year and a half, I have struggled with my priorities, and I can tell. For example, my alone time with God is often time the first thing to get pushed back. Picture this. It was a long night. The baby was up two or three times, and then the big girl got up too. When the alarm goes off before the family wakes up, a decision must be made. Will I get up early to spend time with my Savior, or will I turn off the alarm and wait for the babies to get up? My physical body has dictated my priorities, and too often I find myself rolling over and neglecting my devotional time. Most days I do spend time in my Bible, but it’s not as special as it is when I push through the exhaustion and press into the Word.

With my priorities out of whack, my whole day is out of sync. I don’t get to exercise like I’d like. I don’t do fun crafts with the girls. I don’t get a shower everyday. And then I get mad at myself.

But, ladies, this is not a permanent season. It’s extremely temporary. I know that although life will continue to be busy, I can get a hold of my priorities and redefine my days. If you have found yourself struggling like me, know that you are not alone, and you can prioritize your life and take control once again!

All About Fall

I originally come from a State that does not have four seasons or at least the part that we lived in. Having lived there for more than half my life I really did not experience the distinct changes in the weather and colors of the landscape that Fall or Autumn (as some call it) can bring for some regions. So, therefore I never developed an appreciation for this particular season. However, there were traditions that I enjoyed about it.

When our three boys were younger October meant going to the Pumpkin Patch. Not only was this one of my favorite school field trips to chaperone on but also a favorite family tradition that my husband and I enjoyed with our little ones. After spending the day picking out the “perfect pumpkins” we would come home, carve the seeds out, roast and eat them fresh out of the oven while watching the creativity of our boys come alive carving funny faces on the outside of the pumpkins which would then be placed on our front porch. Now that they are men it has been a while since we have practiced this particular tradition but our sons have assured me that this tradition will come again sometime in the years ahead when grandchildren start to come along!

Six years ago we moved to a State that has four distinct seasons. Toward the end of our first summer living here everyone started to talk of their excitement of the upcoming Fall Season. I honestly did not “get it”. Now after experiencing six years of a true Fall I get it! Now I appreciate it beyond the pumpkin patch. The leaves on the trees in the mountains changing from green to vibrant shades of orange and red is a spectacular sight to see. The beautiful warm fall days that cool down in the evening means turning off the air conditioner, opening the windows and breathing fresh air. I am enjoying discovering new fall recipes. There are so many different things you can make with fresh crisp apples anywhere from breakfast to dinner to dessert!

Along with a new season on the calendar there is a new season happening in my soul. I have no idea where this season is taking me or when it will change to a new one. I do know that as long as I keep my focus on God that I will not only learn and grow from it but be a better woman for it as well.

We would love for you to share your favorite Fall Memories and Traditions or thoughts of this particular season in the reflections section.

Unlike Donna, Fall is my very favorite season! I love the transition from Summer to Winter, and look forward to it every single year. There is really nothing that I do not love about Fall. Of course, I enjoy watching the leaves change from green to various shades of orange, yellow, red, and purple. But, there is so much more!

To me, Fall means cooler temperatures, pumpkin pie, the smell of burning leaves and grass, pumpkin spice lattes, football, pumpkin bagels, warm coffee on cool mornings with good friends, and of course, pumpkin anything!

I can’t say that I have one special Fall memory that sticks out, and there are no traditions that we have established with our children yet that signify that Fall is here, but it is the one season that I am always excited to usher in and sad to see end. I enjoy bringing out my sweaters and boots and snuggling up by the fire with a good book and a mug of caramel apple cider (okay, that was in the “olden days” before the girls were born), all wrapped up in my quilt.

I have been blessed to live in several states across the Midwest, and with only the exception of Texas, have always been able to delight in an amazing Fall season. I guess it’s just part of me.

As was insinuated before, I happen to love anything pumpkin, so below I have included a new recipe that I discovered in the October 2010 issue of Family Fun magazine for Pumpkin Bread Pudding. Not only is it super tasty and a crowd pleaser, but I found it to be quite easy as well. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Pumpkin Bread Pudding

1 (1-pound) day-old loaf of Italian bread

½ cup golden raisins

3 large eggs

¾ cup canned solid-packed pumpkin or fresh cooked pumpkin puree

½ cup whole milk (I used skim)

¾ cup packed light brown sugar

1 cup whipping cream

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

2 tablespoons sugar

Generously coat an 8-inch square baking dish with butter. Remove the crust from the loaf of bread and slice the loaf into 1-inch cubes. Place the cubes in the dish and sprinkle the raisins on top.

Whisk the eggs in a large bowl. Add the pumpkin, milk, brown sugar, whipping cream, vanilla extract, and pumpkin pie spice. Whisk again until the mixture is well blended.

Heat the oven to 350 degrees. Pour the egg mixture over the bread and raisins. Let the ingredients stand for 15 to 20 minutes to allow the bread to absorb the custard. Use a spoon to occasionally push down the bread cubes as they soak.

Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of sugar over the pudding, then place the baking dish in a larger baking or roasting pan. Put the combined pans on the middle rack of the over, then pour hot water into the larger pan until it reaches halfway up the sides of the smaller dish (this is a water bath used to promote even baking and helps with the custard a silky texture).

Bake the pudding until it’s puffed and golden brown on top and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 45 – 50 minutes. Remove the pudding from its water bath and set it on a wire rack. Let the dessert cool for 15 minutes before serving, with a dollop of whipped cream if you like!