The Perfect Pursuer

I realized something about myself this week. After 26 years of marriage to the same man, I still like to be pursued. Now before you raise your eyebrows I must clarify that the only man I like to pursue me is my husband! Let me explain. I am blessed with a wonderful man who is very kind to me and I to him as well, but when you have been married for as long as we have you become comfortable. Neither of us feel the need to pursue the other because we have already been caught. So a few days ago when my husband surprised me with an email that simply said FYI but had an attachment that was a reservation for an overnight get away in honor of Valentine’s day, I caught myself feeling quite special! You see I did not ask for or require a night away to know he loves me but opening up that little surprise made my heart skip a beat and realize that as secure as I am in my marriage I still like for him to pursue me a little!

In talking to other women I find this desire is common among most of us. We like to be pursued and romanced by a future or current mate. This feeling does not just apply to relationships. It can apply to our careers as well, it is thrilling to get that phone call or email from a company pursuing you to come work for them because they see your value in the workplace. Bottom line is we like to be pursued because it makes us feel wanted and needed.

Did you know God pursues you? Sometimes it is man’s rules that make it hard saying that you have to do or be a certain way before you can approach God; that you have to chase after him. That is not true. He approaches you everyday wanting relationship with you, wanting to give you all your heart’s desire, loving you as his daughter, wanting you to enjoy life and have fun! Wanting to protect you giving you strength to handle whatever may come your way and giving you victory as well. All you have to do is accept Him. It is free.

Lisa and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Every year I cut out the coupons for the various online flower sites and “subtly” leave them in places that my husband frequents. He, however, has yet to catch on to my clues. This year I tried a new “tactic”. I have saved every card that my husband has ever given me. They are all in a plastic shoebox that I keep in my closet. A few days ago I took down the box and started rummaging through the cards, smiling at some, and giggling at others. Although there are no dates on these cards, it’s easy to assume when in our relationship they were given. I quickly found the five Valentine’s Day cards that I had received early in our dating relationship. That was the year that my husband (then boyfriend) surprised me with a week of Valentine’s surprises! I still remember walking out of my apartment on the “First Day of Valentine’s” to find a single card attached to a CD. I fondly remember my heart fluttering the entire way to the car, anxiously wondering what was on the CD. Then, as the years went on, the cards started saying, “Sorry I’m too cheap to buy inflated Valentine’s Day flowers,” or “Sorry I’m not that romantic. I love you.”

You have to understand, my husband is a very practical man, and the thought of spending more on something than it’s worth just doesn’t fly with him. And because I know this about him, it doesn’t bother me. But, there is something wonderful and fun about being pursued. And, when we were first “falling in love” he totally knew how to pursue me. And, not a day goes by that I don’t know without a shadow of a doubt that he still loves me.

So, imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang unexpectedly on Friday afternoon. There, sitting on the front porch was the long skinny box that can only mean one thing. ROSES! These didn't show up on my doorstep out of guilt, but out of love, from a husband who still knows how to pursue me.

It’s amazing to me that no matter who we are, what we are, or where we’ve been, God pursues us with passion. He loves us so much that He is constantly seeking us out. He wants us to love Him that He finds us, wherever we are. There is a song right now that speaks to this very love that God has for all of us. JJ Heller sings a song called “What Love Really Means”. It is one of my favorite songs right now, but at the end, God is talking and He says:

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew

You see, He can love us like no person can ever love. His love is perfect and pure and everlasting, and He loves you so much that He will never stop pursuing you.

Overcoming Our Fears

You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. ~ Psalm 18:28-30 (NIV)

This week a series of events happened that as a result I found myself feeling fear in a way that I have not felt in quite a while. It reared its head around every corner and consumed me to the degree that my sleep was restless and my stomach held a continual knot. As I was expressing my concerns to God, I opened my bible and Psalm 18 glared out at me like neon lights on a very dark night. This passage holds the words that David sang after God delivered him from Saul and his troops of men who were hunting him down wanting him dead. From other passages it is made clear that this same David who fought and killed Goliath as a youth was now as an adult dealing with fear for his life. He cried out to God and God rescued him. While running for his life from Saul God was with David the entire time protecting him and giving him the strength he needed to overcome the fear and win the battle. In verses 28-30 David not only acknowledges that his personal strength came entirely from God but he acknowledges Gods perfect ways and greatness as well, giving him all the glory. God turned his darkness to light. He gave him strength to scale walls! Verse 30 says, He is a shield for ALL who take refuge in him. Note he did not say for I he said for all. The awesome thing about God is that there are no prerequisites, he does not discriminate, he is there at all times for all people to take refuge in him and he will be our shield every time.

As I took refuge in God the intense fear that I was feeling began to leave. Have the events that brought this fear on been resolved? No. In Gods time they will be. Like always all I had to do was place my trust in Him and he took the fear and replaced it with peace. He will do it again and again, for me and for you.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. ~ Psalm 9:9 – 10 (NIV)

Fear. It’s a stronghold that I battle with more than I’d like to admit. My imagination has an ugly way of running away with my thoughts, and before I know it, fear has its foot in my heart. Often times I don’t even realize that I’m afraid of something until I feel its paralyzing effects.

If I’m not careful, I could spend my life in constant fear. All we have to do is turn on the news to see that this world is full of things to dread. Whether its something far away or close to home; fear and worry are real.

But I have hope, peace, and comfort. This Psalm that King David wrote thousands of years ago continues to bring solace to me today. Regardless of what is happening around me, these words of promise and hope can come to my mind and remind me that I am not alone.

The key words that stick out to me are refuge – protection, security; oppressed – abused, crushed; stronghold – fort, castle; trouble – trial, suffering; trust – believe, hope; forsaken – desert, leave; and seek – look for, try to find.

We can’t change the fact that life can be scary. What we can control, however, is how we respond. We can live in fear and never really live. Or, we can find comfort in the fact that our Lord will never leave us. He will always be our fortress and will protect us. All we have to do is look for Him.

Giving Thanks

Last week we blogged about the stress we put on ourselves while preparing and anticipating the upcoming holidays. So now we are on the homestretch. It is Thanksgiving! There is the family sitting around the table sharing good food and family stories that bring uncontrollable laughter. Then later on in the evening everyone sitting around the family room eating leftovers while watching football or that favorite Christmas movie to start off the “countdown”. (Ours is It’s a Wonderful Life). Thanksgiving! I have so much to be thankful for. My life is not perfect and there have been a few curves in the road but even so God has always been there to help me maneuver those curves and has blessed me tremendously. I am so thankful that every year I get to experience the scene mentioned above. He has given me a wonderful family. Great lifelong friendships. I have never had to go without shelter and food. He has given me good health. I am thankful to be a citizen in a country where I have the freedom to express my belief and dependency on God, own a bible that I have the ability to read every day and attend church weekly without fear.

I am very excited for you to read Lisa’s thoughts today. She is going to share with you an amazing miracle that could only come from God, one that makes Thanksgiving even more special for her and her family. I know your faith will be built as you read her story. God blessed me by giving me the privilege to be living here and witnessing firsthand the miracle that was a result of many prayers poured out to God by Lisa, her husband, family, myself and others who call them friends. Nothing builds your faith more when you get to witness your prayers answered. I say with joy and excitement that I am glad I get to add this to my list of things I am thankful for.

I pray the very best for all of you. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

It’s 12:30 AM. I’m awake because I just got done rocking my baby, who’s quickly becoming not a baby.

As I looked over at the clock in her room, I was brought back a year ago, when I was also awake at 12:30 AM, but for a very different reason. Just one year ago I was wide-awake.

I’m sure many of you have heard this story so many times that you could give an accurate account, but on this particular night I saw God move in ways I had only ever dreamed.

So humor me once again as I share what I am truly thankful for, and bear with me, this is a little long, but written from my heart.

I was sound asleep in my hospital bed, which is almost unheard of. My one day-old baby was safe in the nursery, and would be brought to me shortly. When the door opened, I was not at all surprised, but I was shocked when the nurse who came in was the NICU nurse, and came without my baby.

She began to talk to me about routine blood pressure monitoring and that our baby girl was showing some irregularities that were now being monitored in the NICU. She talked about something being wrong with her heart, the cardiologist would take scans in the morning, and that she might need heart surgery.

I wish I could tell you everything she said, but at that moment all I could do was fight back the tears. My heart was breaking for a little girl who I had only known for a little over a day, but had loved for almost a year.

When the nurse left, I broke down. My husband did his best to hold it together, but even his voice began to shake. We called our parents and some of our friends, and knew that we prayers were being prayed for our baby girl. And then my husband prayed while I cried and agreed with him.

Walking to the NICU to see her was surreal. I remembered a comment that I had made a few months ago when we had attended a funeral for a baby girl who died of a heart condition. It was something along the lines of hoping that we would never have to be NICU parents. And here we were, washing our hands and walking over to see our little girl with all kinds of wires and machines all over her.

I held her and rocked her and prayed for her. While we were there her, there were no blood pressure discrepancies. We left her and tried to sleep. But I could not. And all I could focus on were these words that kept repeating in my head:

He is
He was
He always will be

Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is

This is “He Is” by Mark Schultz. It was almost as if the Lord was whispering to me, “I am here, I have been here, and I will always be here.”

A few hours later we made our way to the NICU again. But this time we walked with an amazing sense of peace. Once again, her blood pressures were matching up. They had not seen any discrepancies since she had been in the NICU, which was a good sign.

I did fall asleep, and slept peacefully. And then some nurses came in the room. I was groggy and my eyes were swollen from crying so hard, but I could hear one of them saying, “We have someone here, and she’s a hungry girl.” My eyes welled up once again and I thought to myself, “You’re in the wrong room. My baby’s sick and she can’t come to me.” But then I looked over, and there she was. No wires, no machines. Just my wide-eyed baby girl.

The nurse explained that every single time they checked her blood pressures, they matched “too perfectly”. I don’t know about you, but those in the medical profession rarely use the term “perfect”. Chills went down my spine and the tears spilled over. The cardiologist would no longer be consulted, and we were all three going home in a few hours.

I wish I could say that this was the only time God healed this little girl, but I would be lying. He has touched her so many times it’s amazing!

She turned one this past week, and I have been an emotional mess. I am in awe and so thankful. We knew she would be our Thanksgiving baby, but we had no idea that she would be our miracle.

Let the Holidays Begin...

As I am writing this I am surrounded by “lists” of all the things needed to be done in preparation for my two upcoming favorite holidays of the year. Thanksgiving and Christmas!

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and we only have forty shopping days left until Christmas! Does that statement make you feel excitement and joy or overwhelmed and stressed? When I was a little girl I loved the countdown to Christmas, it seemed like it took forever to get here! Stress was not in my vocabulary. What was there to be stressed out about? As a child it was all about the gifts, great food, getting to play Mary in the Christmas play at church and no school! So why as an adult is it so hard to have that same exuberant joy about this time of year? Because I am now the one doing all the planning and the perfectionist in me has to have everything done perfectly down to the little detail. The “lists” I mentioned above have to be completed by midnight on Christmas Eve. The problem is that they get longer every year trying to “outdo” what I did the year before. The new recipes, better decorations, more interesting Christmas card, finding the perfect outfit for the Christmas party, etc. In conversation over coffee with girlfriends I find that I am part of a big club, made up of women from all over the nation. We do not have a name yet, however there are certain requirements to claim membership. They are that by Christmas morning you wake up feeling exhausted and are stressing out because you realize there is one thing you missed on “the list”. You have to remind yourself what we are actually celebrating! You do your best to put your game face on for the day but inside you are just glad when it is over and can get some much needed sleep.

So I made a decision. I am resigning from the club. Oh I still have my lists but I have shortened them to be a little more realistic. I will decorate, listen to and sing the wonderful Carols, enjoy the lights and smells. Send out Christmas cards. I will still shop and purchase gifts because I love to give and Christmas is all about giving to others, reflecting upon and giving thanks for the best gift that we have been given. Jesus our Savior. In order to fully resign from this “club” I choose to not allow myself to become overwhelmed or stress out about the little details that only I notice. I am reminded of the scripture from childhood…This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it. ~Psalm 118:24. On the mornings when I rise out of bed and see the “lists” staring at me in the face I will remind myself of this simple scripture and tackle those lists with joy and excitement about the day and upcoming celebration. Instead of my focus being placed on the “list” for the celebration I will instead place it on the “reason” for it. I will attempt to get the list checked off but not at the expense of spending time with my family and be in a good mood while doing it! More importantly I choose to make each day about the excitement of the true reason why we set aside December 25 to decorate, give gifts and have a party instead of the party itself. Would you like to join me?

I am taking on something I have never done before. I am hosting both Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house! I’m super excited. You know what this means? I get to use my good plates and silverware, which I never get to do! My husband’s family, who are all in town, will come to our house for Thanksgiving, and my family, who are all out of town, will come for Christmas. This means that Thanksgiving is basically a one day ordeal, while Christmas will be a one week event.

I am nothing less than thrilled to be hosting the holidays at my house! I love our family, and I know it will be wonderful. Both my mom and mother in-law will “coach” me along the way, but our families hold strong to their traditions. And this is where a little anxiety has crept in.

My husband is amazing, and I love him more than anything, but he can be, well, particular. For example, I am no longer allowed to make the Green Bean Casserole for any holiday because I don’t make it the right way. No worries, his mom is going to make the beans! And along with food, in the back of my mind, I would be lying if I said I was completely confident in my turkey cooking capabilities! I keep seeing the Christmas Vacation turkey exploding in dry bits on my fancy plates.

Christmas will be a whole new experience for us. We’ve been at our house for Christmas before, but we’ve never had anyone with us. I want so badly for our memories to be good ones, just like when I was a little girl. But, I must admit, I’ve got a case of the “buts”. But this and but that. I know in my head that I am probably the only one with expectations in my mind, but they’re there, and now I’m stressed.

Here’s the thing. This is my year to do things my way, and although it’s overwhelming, it’s going to be exciting. Plus, this is the year that my mom and my mother in-law get a break!

My point. We put the holiday stress on ourselves. So, no matter what stresses you out during the holiday season, there is something YOU can do about it! Take control of yourself, and like Donna said, remember what the holidays truly are about. Let’s celebrate our family, our friends, and our Savior!

Prioritize Your Life

My priorities have changed. Let me preface all this by saying that from a spiritual and emotional perspective they have not. God, my husband of 26 years and our three sons; this group will ALWAYS have priority in my heart. My time is devoted to my relationship with them.

The priorities that have changed are those in my everyday routine. For the last twenty two years my day to day priorities were quite demanding of my time physically and emotionally. I had to be organized to stay on top of everything. Going none stop until dark taking care of my family, our home, volunteering for our church and finding those few minutes just to have some alone time with God. As the boys got older I added more to the list. PTA Mom. Classroom volunteer. School Book Fair coordinator. Team mom for whatever sport they were playing at the time. The list went on.

One day I woke up and all my children had entered manhood with the ability to take care of themselves and make their own decisions. When that happened I do not know. They and all their activities were such a large part of my day to day priorities. That has now come to an end. I told myself that they no longer need me. I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Then I received an email from a long time friend who lives out of state from me. Her husband who had been ill for quite a while had passed away. I cried. I waited a few days and then called her to pass on my condolences and hopefully be an encouragement to her during this time of grief and loss. I did not share any of what I was feeling at the time regarding my own life because that would have been completely selfish and it was not the purpose of the phone call. She shared with me her husband’s final days and it was an amazing story of God’s grace. They had been married thirty seven years and had a beautiful marriage. His death was not what either one of them wanted, however, because of the strength that only God could give they faced it and were together until his last breath. Through her grief she is able to say that even though selfishly she still wants him here that unselfishly she is happy for him that he is home and no longer suffering. Then she said something that caught me completely off guard. “Take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with your husband and your sons. Make your family time a priority keeping God always in the center. God promises us so many things but he does not promise us tomorrow.” Wow. I know it is not coincidence that Lisa and I had decided to write about priorities long before this conversation took place. Given that fact and everything that was going on in my heart that one simple statement that l know but may not always practice spoke profoundly.

My day to day priorities have changed. Life has dictated that and I am choosing to embrace it. The result is good. It means that my alone time with God goes much longer and deeper. This is what gives me my strength and hope for what tomorrow holds. More alone time is now spent with my husband and I am grateful for the work we put into our marriage while raising our children so that we do not have the awkwardness that some empty nesters face. We have fun together! My day to day priorities no longer include that of being the primary care giver of my children. They now need me in a much different way. I am learning with each day what my role and priorities are as a parent to adult children. In addition to my love, they need my prayers, my example of what it means to have faith. They just need me to listen. I have to trust the parenting that my husband and I gave them when they were children. I have to trust God to hear my prayers for them.

Priorities. They are different for all of us depending on where we are at in life. I leave this with you. I have learned the following. Use your God given talents with excellence in the opportunities that come your way, however in the process of doing so do not let that activity become priority over your relationship with God, your family and the friendships that you have been given.

Have no regrets when tomorrow becomes today.

Looking back ten years ago, I was in a very different place, and my priorities were not even close to what they are now. I was 21. I was living in Minneapolis student teaching. I was a senior in college. I was single. I was still under my parent’s insurance. My biggest worry was whether or not my car would die on the interstate on-ramp. I was only in charge of me, and had as much “me” time as I wanted. Sure, there were deadlines, and I know I was worried about who I would marry (or if I would marry). My priority, selfishly, was me.

Ah, the good old days! Today does not look even remotely close to that. With a husband, two little girls, and a mortgage, there is very little “me” time. But, happily, I have embraced my new life! I’m sure we’re all familiar with the acronym floating around the church regarding our priorities: JOY (Jesus, Others, You). This is exhausting! By the time I get to me, I’m too tired to do anything more.

I’m not going to lie. My priorities have not been my priority. Survival has been at the top of my list! My second baby girl threw my life into a whirlwind, and I am finally feeling a sense of “normalcy” once again. But, for the last year and a half, I have struggled with my priorities, and I can tell. For example, my alone time with God is often time the first thing to get pushed back. Picture this. It was a long night. The baby was up two or three times, and then the big girl got up too. When the alarm goes off before the family wakes up, a decision must be made. Will I get up early to spend time with my Savior, or will I turn off the alarm and wait for the babies to get up? My physical body has dictated my priorities, and too often I find myself rolling over and neglecting my devotional time. Most days I do spend time in my Bible, but it’s not as special as it is when I push through the exhaustion and press into the Word.

With my priorities out of whack, my whole day is out of sync. I don’t get to exercise like I’d like. I don’t do fun crafts with the girls. I don’t get a shower everyday. And then I get mad at myself.

But, ladies, this is not a permanent season. It’s extremely temporary. I know that although life will continue to be busy, I can get a hold of my priorities and redefine my days. If you have found yourself struggling like me, know that you are not alone, and you can prioritize your life and take control once again!

Encouragement - Just Do It!

We made it! Together we have identified our personal lies and are now ready for some encouragement. This is not a comprehensive list, but a few thoughts that will get you started.

1. Know Your Friends
You should be aware of your friends and how they are feeling. If a girlfriend of yours is constantly complaining about her weight, her husband or lack thereof, or something else that she obsesses over, you may want to encourage her in these areas as opposed to just blowing it off. It may or may not be a lie that she’s believing, but what if it is.


2. Encourage Don’t Compete
We’ve all come in contact with the “one-upper” and may, on occasion, have actually been this lady. In conversation remember that it is our job to listen and offer encouragement instead of comparing and competing.

The Bible offers words of wisdom on this very topic:

Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:13, The Message Version


3. Keep it Confidential
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. The only way to build trust is when confidentiality is practiced and earned. I’m sure we can all think back to a time where we either betrayed a friend’s confidentiality or someone betrayed our trust. It’s a horrible feeling, and one that is one hundred percent preventable. Keep in mind that a public prayer request, unless approved, falls under the category of betrayal, no matter how good your intentions are.


4. A Kind Word Goes a Long Way
Get in the habit of complimenting and encouraging others, regardless of their actions or mood. Sometimes we don’t know what someone is really going through, but your word of encouragement may be just what they needed to hear.

Remember that there is a difference between encouraging a friend and a sarcastic, unintentional, remark. Too often, these kinds of words are not encouraging, and can be hurtful, even though there was no malicious intent. Be careful about what you say.


5. Graciously Accept a Compliment
“Thank you.” No explanation is necessary. Accept that someone liked your hair, outfit, home décor, or what you have spoken about and say thank you. That’s all they want to hear.


6. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help
Too often we allow society or the church to dictate our choices. If you have had any hurt from your past that continues to prevent you from living a healthy life today, please know that there are professionals that are available to help you. Counselors do not replace what God can do, but they can work in conjunction with Him. Never allow another person’s insecurities to affect your need to get outside help.


Thank you for journeying with us these past few weeks. Our hope is that you are now stronger and ready to move past your lies. Next week we’ll shift gears and lighten the load a little as we look back on our favorite fall traditions and memories.

Enough is Enough

I am not:

-Good enough
-Pretty enough
-Smart enough
-Busy enough
-Worthy enough
-Spiritual enough
-Wealthy enough

When asked about the “lies we tell ourselves” the common response was a form of “I am not enough.” Whether it is from past experiences or hurts in our lives, we as ladies have convinced ourselves that we are not enough. Lies do not discriminate between age, background or current circumstances. We all need to be aware of the lies we believe and allow to become our truth. For some it screams at them daily, while for others it lays dormant until a specific event takes place that causes it to resurface.

The effects of these lies are devastating. We become isolated and believe that we are the only ones dealing with the issue. We are then unable to have healthy relationships, be in good physical and mental health and enjoy the blessings that God has to offer.
What does it mean to be enough? There is a promise found in Matthew 5:5. “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are - no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.” (The Message version) This does not mean you remain content or stagnant in an unhealthy situation. Strive to seek more of God, which is priceless, and less of what the world can offer.

We as ladies have an awesome opportunity to uplift and encourage each other. Next week we will go into more detail on how to encourage one another that we are really enough.

Liar, Liar

Lies. We all know that it is wrong to lie, and yet, we allow ourselves to be lied to. Why is this? I’m sure it’s in our nature as women to want to please others. When we do this, we begin to believe what other people say to us and about us, and pretty soon, those lies become our truth.

We understand that this is a very sensitive and personal subject. This was extremely difficult for both of us to write about, and caused us to do some deep soul searching, but we feel strongly that this is an area that must be covered in depth.

For this reason we will be discussing The Lies We Believe over a 3-week period. This week we will transparently reveal to you the lies we believe. Next week we will discuss several lies that many women allow themselves to believe. The final week of this topic will be on ways to recognize and battle the lie.

Please stick with us as we delve into a very serious and unfortunately common issue that plagues most women. We understand that this is very private, and are not expecting you to spew out your lies for everyone to read, even if you respond anonymously, however, if you do feel compelled to comment, we would treasure your thoughts.

There are the obvious lies that unfortunately begin at a very young age on the playground or sadly to say for some at home. Through age, maturity in my relationship with God and a loving husband I have overcome believing those lies to be truth.

Unfortunately, there is still one lie that I struggle with in my life. I have believed this lie since childhood and it has become ingrained into my character. Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing it actually looks and feels like truth but when I force myself to look in the mirror the sheep’s clothing comes off and the wolf is glaring at me. I don’t like it. The lie I am referring to is that in order to be accepted, liked and loved by others every action I take, every word I say and how I choose to live my life must have the approval of those around me, whether it be family, friends or mere acquaintances. It has been easy to say to myself that the only approval I need is Gods and that as long as I follow his voice all will be good, however, when faced with certain situations along the way I have cowered back into submitting to believing the lie as truth and seeking “approval of” and at times “praise for” my actions. I have made unnecessary apologies. I have changed plans to accommodate what someone else wanted instead of what was best for my family and me. The list goes on.

I have come to realize that in believing this lie as truth I have… 1) Spent a large majority of my time with hurt feelings over how someone else responded or did not respond to me. 2) On more than one occasion caused my husband and children to feel like that their feelings were second place to others. My heart breaks at this realization because I love them with such intensity. They have given me their best and they deserve to have my best. 3) Made too many decisions based on the question “What will others think of or say about me?” 4) Robbed myself of even greater things that God wants to do in my life.

After many years I am finally confronting this lie and seeking Gods help for I know I cannot do this on my own. I believe that when I get through this particular journey that I will be a better person for it and hopefully an even better example of God’s grace to others.

There are several lies that I believe about myself at different times, but I believe they all stem from this giant lie: “I am not enough.” When did I start believing this lie? Who knows? However, I can look back at several events in my life and note that I was believing this lie at that time.

This lie warps itself, depending on my current situation. At times I believe I’m not pretty enough, or sometimes I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not talented enough, or smart enough. Often times I feel as though I’ve conquered one of these lies, when all of a sudden, another one creeps in to take the other’s place.

Currently I’m battling this lie. I have felt a calling in my heart to do something that God wants me to do, and yet, rather than believing God that I am ready and able to do what He has in store for me, I am choosing to believe that I am too young and am not truly capable to do this. I know in my head who to believe, but my heart will not follow suit.

Lies, regardless of their origination, are ugly. And, unfortunately, once we allow ourselves to believe the lie, it seems as though it is almost impossible to train our hearts otherwise. We become almost dependent on the lie to function throughout our lives. We question the truth and never question the lie.

What am I going to do, you may wonder? I honestly don’t know. I pray that I will get to the place where I can put this lie to bed and move on in God’s will, but I’m not there yet.

Like Donna said earlier, our lies don’t just hurt us, they often times hurt the ones we love as well. Be aware of what you let into your heart, and ask the Lord to reveal His truths to you through His eyes.