Overcoming Our Fears

You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. ~ Psalm 18:28-30 (NIV)

This week a series of events happened that as a result I found myself feeling fear in a way that I have not felt in quite a while. It reared its head around every corner and consumed me to the degree that my sleep was restless and my stomach held a continual knot. As I was expressing my concerns to God, I opened my bible and Psalm 18 glared out at me like neon lights on a very dark night. This passage holds the words that David sang after God delivered him from Saul and his troops of men who were hunting him down wanting him dead. From other passages it is made clear that this same David who fought and killed Goliath as a youth was now as an adult dealing with fear for his life. He cried out to God and God rescued him. While running for his life from Saul God was with David the entire time protecting him and giving him the strength he needed to overcome the fear and win the battle. In verses 28-30 David not only acknowledges that his personal strength came entirely from God but he acknowledges Gods perfect ways and greatness as well, giving him all the glory. God turned his darkness to light. He gave him strength to scale walls! Verse 30 says, He is a shield for ALL who take refuge in him. Note he did not say for I he said for all. The awesome thing about God is that there are no prerequisites, he does not discriminate, he is there at all times for all people to take refuge in him and he will be our shield every time.

As I took refuge in God the intense fear that I was feeling began to leave. Have the events that brought this fear on been resolved? No. In Gods time they will be. Like always all I had to do was place my trust in Him and he took the fear and replaced it with peace. He will do it again and again, for me and for you.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. ~ Psalm 9:9 – 10 (NIV)

Fear. It’s a stronghold that I battle with more than I’d like to admit. My imagination has an ugly way of running away with my thoughts, and before I know it, fear has its foot in my heart. Often times I don’t even realize that I’m afraid of something until I feel its paralyzing effects.

If I’m not careful, I could spend my life in constant fear. All we have to do is turn on the news to see that this world is full of things to dread. Whether its something far away or close to home; fear and worry are real.

But I have hope, peace, and comfort. This Psalm that King David wrote thousands of years ago continues to bring solace to me today. Regardless of what is happening around me, these words of promise and hope can come to my mind and remind me that I am not alone.

The key words that stick out to me are refuge – protection, security; oppressed – abused, crushed; stronghold – fort, castle; trouble – trial, suffering; trust – believe, hope; forsaken – desert, leave; and seek – look for, try to find.

We can’t change the fact that life can be scary. What we can control, however, is how we respond. We can live in fear and never really live. Or, we can find comfort in the fact that our Lord will never leave us. He will always be our fortress and will protect us. All we have to do is look for Him.

Resolution Solution

So here we are. It is the last day of the first month of another new year. Every commercial, internet, newspaper and magazine article is evolved around how to achieve those resolutions we made for ourselves. Making resolutions, everyone I know has a love/hate relationship with them.

Recently I read an interesting fact that every year millions of people make resolutions for the new year but only ten percent manage to actually achieve them and by July most of them have been forgotten and no progress has been made. Ten percent! I wish I could say that every year since I started making resolutions that I made the ‘ten percent’ category but I cannot.

Why do we bother with making resolutions? I can only answer for myself. I feel like there is always something new to learn, a better way of doing things in my life that will result in personal growth emotionally, physically and most importantly spiritually which will result in becoming a more productive person. When I do this I see so much more positive in my life. I find myself accomplishing things that make a difference.

How do I achieve this? I have learned over the years (learning is one of the positive things of aging!) to be realistic in the goals I set for myself. If I set unrealistic goals, I will fail and then just take the path of least resistance which is to convince myself that it does not matter. So the key is to be realistic. Of course challenge must be involved that is what makes it so exciting, however be realistic in what is even attainable for where I am at in life. What was unrealistic for me to accomplish as a 30 year old mother of two toddlers and a new born is now much more realistic as a 50 year old mother of grown children. I have also learned that the list does not have to be long. I have found that changing or improving upon one thing in my life can be the stepping stone that leads to other positive changes that will come naturally because of that one act.

So to whoever is reading this today and possibly struggling with resolutions or change of daily habit that will bring more excellence in your life, ask God for direction and believe what you ask for. He is your creator who loves you and is just waiting to meet the desire of your heart. That is faith.

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve tried, but I tend to fall in with the 90% who fail. And, it’s usually by January 2^nd that I’ve failed at my resolution and decide to pitch it and just claim failure. I’m okay without New Year’s Resolutions.

I do set goals. Maybe it’s because they come without the negative stigma of a New Year’s Resolution, but I tend to do better with a goal. It’s a mind game, but I like that I can set a goal any time of the year. Plus, I feel like if I drop the ball on Tuesday, I can just pick it up again on Wednesday!

My goal this year is to have some routines. I have heard that it takes 21 days to make something part of your routine. That’s 3 weeks. The sad thing is that it only takes 3 days of not doing this activity to get out of the routine…

Early last year my goal was to read my Bible consistently, every single day. Our church was kicking off a program where we would read 3 chapters a day, and my husband and I were going to be leading a discussion group starting in the summer. I liked this goal for several reasons:

1. It was realistic and attainable. I knew that I could sit down for 20 – 30 minutes every day. I would love to sit for hours and read and study my Bible, but that was not my reality, and it would have been very difficult.

2. I was being held accountable. My husband had committed to the same reading program, so I knew that he would be checking up on me, and vice-versa. Plus, it was fun to have conversations about what we were reading.

3. I had a purpose. I knew that in a few months, my husband and I would be leading a group and expecting the attendees to have read their Bibles. It would not look good if one of the leaders was not practicing what she preached.

So, there it is. I will be working on my daily routines, one at a time, by setting my goals according to these three guidelines. These may or may not work for you, but I’m working my best to make them work for me.

And remember; don’t get discouraged if you miss a day. LIFE HAPPENS!!! Forget about Thursday and recommit yourself on Friday!

Life Strikes...

Happy New Year! We trust your Christmas and New Year celebrations were full of joy, peace, reflection, laughter and that new memories were made. Both of us had wonderful celebrations with our families.

When we last blogged we committed to you the reader and ourselves that we would resume writing today. Wouldn’t you know that in the last week life hit both of us in very normal but nonetheless a little overwhelming ways which left both of us feeling ever so exhausted and our brains a little on overload. So, for this week we are blogging about ‘nothing’, however, do not give up on us! All is coming back to normal whatever ‘normal’ means, and we will be back in business next Monday with whatever topic is in the forefront of our minds.

For today we leave you with this one thought, that as women we all know but do not always remember…Do not give up on those resolutions you made for 2011. If you blow one or all of them today it is not the end of the world, tomorrow is a new day and you can start again!

See you next week!

Donna and Lisa

Prioritize Your Life

My priorities have changed. Let me preface all this by saying that from a spiritual and emotional perspective they have not. God, my husband of 26 years and our three sons; this group will ALWAYS have priority in my heart. My time is devoted to my relationship with them.

The priorities that have changed are those in my everyday routine. For the last twenty two years my day to day priorities were quite demanding of my time physically and emotionally. I had to be organized to stay on top of everything. Going none stop until dark taking care of my family, our home, volunteering for our church and finding those few minutes just to have some alone time with God. As the boys got older I added more to the list. PTA Mom. Classroom volunteer. School Book Fair coordinator. Team mom for whatever sport they were playing at the time. The list went on.

One day I woke up and all my children had entered manhood with the ability to take care of themselves and make their own decisions. When that happened I do not know. They and all their activities were such a large part of my day to day priorities. That has now come to an end. I told myself that they no longer need me. I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Then I received an email from a long time friend who lives out of state from me. Her husband who had been ill for quite a while had passed away. I cried. I waited a few days and then called her to pass on my condolences and hopefully be an encouragement to her during this time of grief and loss. I did not share any of what I was feeling at the time regarding my own life because that would have been completely selfish and it was not the purpose of the phone call. She shared with me her husband’s final days and it was an amazing story of God’s grace. They had been married thirty seven years and had a beautiful marriage. His death was not what either one of them wanted, however, because of the strength that only God could give they faced it and were together until his last breath. Through her grief she is able to say that even though selfishly she still wants him here that unselfishly she is happy for him that he is home and no longer suffering. Then she said something that caught me completely off guard. “Take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with your husband and your sons. Make your family time a priority keeping God always in the center. God promises us so many things but he does not promise us tomorrow.” Wow. I know it is not coincidence that Lisa and I had decided to write about priorities long before this conversation took place. Given that fact and everything that was going on in my heart that one simple statement that l know but may not always practice spoke profoundly.

My day to day priorities have changed. Life has dictated that and I am choosing to embrace it. The result is good. It means that my alone time with God goes much longer and deeper. This is what gives me my strength and hope for what tomorrow holds. More alone time is now spent with my husband and I am grateful for the work we put into our marriage while raising our children so that we do not have the awkwardness that some empty nesters face. We have fun together! My day to day priorities no longer include that of being the primary care giver of my children. They now need me in a much different way. I am learning with each day what my role and priorities are as a parent to adult children. In addition to my love, they need my prayers, my example of what it means to have faith. They just need me to listen. I have to trust the parenting that my husband and I gave them when they were children. I have to trust God to hear my prayers for them.

Priorities. They are different for all of us depending on where we are at in life. I leave this with you. I have learned the following. Use your God given talents with excellence in the opportunities that come your way, however in the process of doing so do not let that activity become priority over your relationship with God, your family and the friendships that you have been given.

Have no regrets when tomorrow becomes today.

Looking back ten years ago, I was in a very different place, and my priorities were not even close to what they are now. I was 21. I was living in Minneapolis student teaching. I was a senior in college. I was single. I was still under my parent’s insurance. My biggest worry was whether or not my car would die on the interstate on-ramp. I was only in charge of me, and had as much “me” time as I wanted. Sure, there were deadlines, and I know I was worried about who I would marry (or if I would marry). My priority, selfishly, was me.

Ah, the good old days! Today does not look even remotely close to that. With a husband, two little girls, and a mortgage, there is very little “me” time. But, happily, I have embraced my new life! I’m sure we’re all familiar with the acronym floating around the church regarding our priorities: JOY (Jesus, Others, You). This is exhausting! By the time I get to me, I’m too tired to do anything more.

I’m not going to lie. My priorities have not been my priority. Survival has been at the top of my list! My second baby girl threw my life into a whirlwind, and I am finally feeling a sense of “normalcy” once again. But, for the last year and a half, I have struggled with my priorities, and I can tell. For example, my alone time with God is often time the first thing to get pushed back. Picture this. It was a long night. The baby was up two or three times, and then the big girl got up too. When the alarm goes off before the family wakes up, a decision must be made. Will I get up early to spend time with my Savior, or will I turn off the alarm and wait for the babies to get up? My physical body has dictated my priorities, and too often I find myself rolling over and neglecting my devotional time. Most days I do spend time in my Bible, but it’s not as special as it is when I push through the exhaustion and press into the Word.

With my priorities out of whack, my whole day is out of sync. I don’t get to exercise like I’d like. I don’t do fun crafts with the girls. I don’t get a shower everyday. And then I get mad at myself.

But, ladies, this is not a permanent season. It’s extremely temporary. I know that although life will continue to be busy, I can get a hold of my priorities and redefine my days. If you have found yourself struggling like me, know that you are not alone, and you can prioritize your life and take control once again!

Encouragement - Just Do It!

We made it! Together we have identified our personal lies and are now ready for some encouragement. This is not a comprehensive list, but a few thoughts that will get you started.

1. Know Your Friends
You should be aware of your friends and how they are feeling. If a girlfriend of yours is constantly complaining about her weight, her husband or lack thereof, or something else that she obsesses over, you may want to encourage her in these areas as opposed to just blowing it off. It may or may not be a lie that she’s believing, but what if it is.


2. Encourage Don’t Compete
We’ve all come in contact with the “one-upper” and may, on occasion, have actually been this lady. In conversation remember that it is our job to listen and offer encouragement instead of comparing and competing.

The Bible offers words of wisdom on this very topic:

Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:13, The Message Version


3. Keep it Confidential
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. The only way to build trust is when confidentiality is practiced and earned. I’m sure we can all think back to a time where we either betrayed a friend’s confidentiality or someone betrayed our trust. It’s a horrible feeling, and one that is one hundred percent preventable. Keep in mind that a public prayer request, unless approved, falls under the category of betrayal, no matter how good your intentions are.


4. A Kind Word Goes a Long Way
Get in the habit of complimenting and encouraging others, regardless of their actions or mood. Sometimes we don’t know what someone is really going through, but your word of encouragement may be just what they needed to hear.

Remember that there is a difference between encouraging a friend and a sarcastic, unintentional, remark. Too often, these kinds of words are not encouraging, and can be hurtful, even though there was no malicious intent. Be careful about what you say.


5. Graciously Accept a Compliment
“Thank you.” No explanation is necessary. Accept that someone liked your hair, outfit, home décor, or what you have spoken about and say thank you. That’s all they want to hear.


6. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help
Too often we allow society or the church to dictate our choices. If you have had any hurt from your past that continues to prevent you from living a healthy life today, please know that there are professionals that are available to help you. Counselors do not replace what God can do, but they can work in conjunction with Him. Never allow another person’s insecurities to affect your need to get outside help.


Thank you for journeying with us these past few weeks. Our hope is that you are now stronger and ready to move past your lies. Next week we’ll shift gears and lighten the load a little as we look back on our favorite fall traditions and memories.