The High School that my three sons attended is located on one of the main roads that l have to take to get nearly everywhere in town. This week the school sign is announcing it is time to register for the new school year. I feel a twinge of sadness when driving by because my youngest son graduated from there in May of this year. So, for the first time in many years I do not get to participate in all the fun “Back to School” activities, the closest I get is receiving the College bill in the mail and writing out the check. They are men now and do not need or for that matter want mommy holding their hand. I miss my little boys. Having said that there is that side to me that really does enjoy them being adults and I watch with excitement as they each pursue their dreams. If this were the only transition happening in my life right now I most likely would be writing about a different topic, however it is not. Everything is changing, my body, a new decade of birthdays, the city that I live in, and the list continues.
When I realized one day that a chapter was closing and a new one was opening I went into a little bit of “panic mode”. I told God I did not like everything in my life changing all at once! Change can mean being stretched emotionally, physically and spiritually. I am too tired for that. In my discussion with God when I finally closed my mouth and opened my ears in His gentle way he brought peace to my soul. So, what am I going to do with this new chapter that has several blank pages to it? I must admit not knowing what is going to be written on those pages at times scares me but that is when I place my faith in God and then the excitement comes as to what will be written and how.
Transition or whatever title you choose to put on it happens to all of us in many different ways depending on where you are in life. It encouraged me to see what Lisa pointed out in her thoughts about using our strengths that result from lessons learned through past changes. Wherever you are at in life or whatever kind of transition you are facing or will face I encourage you to share your heart with a trusting girlfriend that will stand with you when it hurts and rejoice with you when laughter comes, and hopefully you do the same for her. In addition in your own way express your feelings to God, I promise you He will give you what you need in perfect timing. Embrace it!
Unlike Donna, I am at the very beginning of a life with children. My oldest will be three in a few weeks and my youngest is 9 months. You could say that I am in the middle of diapers and discipline. I feel as though I have been in constant transition for the past five years. I went from a single working young woman to being a married stay-at-home mom with 2 children in less than five years. To say it's been easy would be an understatement. I still feel like I must justify my answer when someone asks what I do for a living. "Well, I used to teach, but right now I'm staying home with our daughters." For some reason I just have a really hard time admitting that I am a stay-at-home mom. Don't get me wrong. I love it (most of the time). But, I don't feel as though I am worth much in the eyes of others. I also know that it only matters what I'm worth in God's eyes, my husband's eyes, and my children's eyes, but I still tend to struggle with this stage of life. I look at Donna right now and can hardly even put myself in her shoes. I know that I will miss my daughters more than anything when they're off living their lives, but right now all I long for is a moment by myself. Even if it's just three minutes in the bathroom with no interruptions!
I was told one time that transitions are God's way of stretching and growing you. It's not meant to be easy. It's not supposed to feel good. Transitions are when we are to dig deep into our past experiences and really learn from them. We are to use the strength that we have been blessed with and open ourselves up to the new changes. Do we always like it? Absolutely not, but this is our opportunity to become better.
So, as I sit here watching My Little Ponies, surrounded by sippy cups and bottles, keeping one eye on the baby while she practices her new skill of crawling, I must know that this is the best use of my time right now. And honestly, if I were working, I bet I would be sitting in the teacher's lounge wishing that I could be home with my babies and just be their mama.
