Miss Manners

I have two Ladies magazines that I enjoy reading. I like the recipes, decorating ideas, latest fashion and organizational ideas and short stories. There is also a monthly advice column on etiquette which I always find intriguing and tend to read it first before reading the rest of the magazine cover to cover. Sometimes I chuckle because what is written that month should be just common sense or good old fashioned manners that you would think every parent would teach their child from the time they could talk. The fact that it is asked and discussed in such a public forum means that even in today’s world manners are not taught in every household which I don’t chuckle at but instead find a little sad. On other occasions there are great questions asked and answered by the author that go beyond common everyday manners but are more about etiquette in social settings. I often use those as a learning tool or personal check list if you will to make sure I am using proper etiquette. My goal is not to be a snob but instead to carry myself with class and not be offensive to those around me.

So why may you ask am I bringing this up? Well girls we are heading into one of the busiest times of the year. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and then we will wake up and it will be Christmas. I love these two holidays the most because of what they represent, however they can become a little stressful. Actually lets be real they become very stressful which we will blog about on another day.

To answer the question I bring all of this up because sometimes through the busyness and yes stressfulness of this time of the year our manners and/or social etiquette can at times get put by the wayside. We do not do it intentionally we just get on a mission to get the “list” checked off and things get forgotten. Things like saying thank you either verbally or through a simple note, sending in the RSVP to the event you received an invitation to by the date the host or hostess requested, letting the elderly or physically challenged go first in the long line at the department or grocery store. Giving a smile and “a have a nice day” to the cashier who is overwhelmed by that long holiday line. I could go on and on but I think you get the picture.

So during this most wonderful but also most busy time of the year and for that matter any time of year lets all take a breath, stop and remember our manners. I assure you that it will make the other persons day and in the long run our day as well.

I’ve heard that what the parents do in moderation, their children will do in excess. I don’t think this applies to etiquette. I know my mother’s generation was taught the appropriate social etiquette, and yet, my generation has not followed in their footsteps.

I don’t know if it’s due to lack of commitment issues, but for whatever reason, it is like pulling teeth to get my friends to RSVP to an event. Perhaps it’s that they do not understand what RSVP means. Just as a refresher, RSVP is French for répondez s'il vous plait. In English it means, “reply please”. Simple enough, right? Maybe my friends aren’t cognizant of the importance of replying to an event. For example, I am hosting a party this weekend and have invited somewhere around 40 of my closest and most personal friends. There was an RSVP at the bottom of an electronic invitation. There was no need to pick up a phone and call me. All that was needed was for my friends to click the link and press the little mouse button on yes or no. The invitation was sent out a week ago, and I have heard back from one person. It’s hard to plan food for my party, not knowing how many people will be attending.

It is also commonplace these days to see the cell phones out all the time. If we’re not talking on one, then we’re texting or checking our email. I just got my first “more-than-a-phone” phone. It doesn’t have Apps, but I can get my email, and it has a keyboard. I’m so used to texting with the number keys on my old phone, that this is amazing! I can see how easy it would be to constantly have my pretty pink phone out. But, let’s remember that when we are with others, it’s time for some face-to-face interactions, and the phone calls, texts, and emails can wait (unless it truly is an important call).

I know the times have changed since Miss Manners and Emily Post were the experts in etiquette, but to me it seems like some things should never change. So, during the holiday season, let’s hang up our phones in public places, and remember to be considerate to those around us, whether they are strangers or friends. Reply to your invitations, and don’t forget the thank you notes. My hope is that I am able to model this for my daughters and instill these ideas into them as they grow into young women.